Journal 4: Relationship

The first serious relationship I've had is actually just ending. The only thing I've realized through it all: rules exist because they're ALWAYS accurate.

I've grown up thinking "that's what happens to NORMAL people but I'll be smart enough to recognize situations x, y, z when they come along and not be effected by them". I was wrong.

You go into a relationship obviously because there is some mutual attraction and a sense of connection (interest, goals, etc.). Thus, I delved into a relationship with a person, whom I will refer to as Joanne. Joanne is a sweet, smart, and driven music student. She goes to GMU.

First things first- I have a lot of shit going on in my life. Not to say that a relationship isn't important to me- it is. But at the same time, there is a point in a relationship where your significant other goes from being a friend-ish person, to a family-esque person. That point came for Joanne far before it came for me.

The details are so fresh in my memory, the pain so real, that I don't really want to delve into what's caused a rift in my life and a crack in my heart. But after long, thoughtful reflection, I realized we broke up because we were both looking or something different than what the other actually IS.

Back to my original point, I thought all along "maybe we will get married! people say it's unlikely but not for ME!" or "it's ok, I can trust her because of this and this and it's different than every other situation you hear about". The hardest thing about this relationship has been realizing that I'm not a part of the exception. I'm a product of the rule. I have a friend who still hasn't had his first serious relationship. I keep telling him to be careful, think rationally, etc. But in reality EVERYONE has to go through this to realize that the world is a huge place, and that the first one you choose to love will not be your last.